“We’re not voiceless. Pass the mic.”
I don’t know how other POC bloggers feel, but I’ve always felt that there is a shortage of our stories and perspectives… especially given that our stories are many and unique. So, towards the end of 2018, I decided that I would begin sharing the stories of many talented and wonderful diverse bloggers.
Today, we have Osi @ OUKASnation (a nation dedicated to anybody who feels or who has ever felt like an outcast). I’ve been following Osi’s blog for a long time now. Talented doesn’t even begin to describe him – he can rap, make music, and he’s a wonderful poet to boot. Osi covers a lot of topics on his blog from black love (his dating app, Berry, celebrating black love is out now!), his childhood, school years, family, mental health, being a millennial Brit, and gaming. My favourite posts of his is his poem ‘Full Circle’. Life is hard and Osi isn’t afraid to explore the full depth of his emotions including his ‘Mental Diary‘. He is honest, expressive, creative and sensitive, and I hope the next few years will allow him to build on his many creative talents.
I’ve been following your blog for a while now, and something that I come across often is your relationship with your parents. How was your relationship with your parents like growing up?
Erm, this is a bit of a sticky question. My Mum and Dad separated when I was 3 months old, and I stayed with my Mum. When it comes to my Dad I used to see him almost every Sunday or at family parties, but even when I saw him on those Sunday’s, it would just be to go shopping, so it wasn’t really that “engaging” if you get what I mean. I guess the relationship was [cool] because I got things that I wanted, but in terms of forming an actual relationship, it wasn’t really there, even to this day.
On the other hand, my Mum always fed, clothed, looked after [me], etc, and I can never take that for granted. But I feel the way she spoke to me and handled certain situations whilst I was growing up has put a massive dent in our relationship. It’s not like my Dad where I would see him one time for a couple of hours and go back home. I lived with her, so I had to live with these things daily.
Outside [my] home, [it] was already bad enough for me growing up, so to come back home and get that as well brings a full circle to the negativity which is why it’s near impossible for me to forgive and forget because all I mostly know is sadness and pain. There is still resentment I do hold [to] this very day because I feel a lot should have been done in a better way, and I can’t understand how she couldn’t have seen or known that. So I guess my relationship with my mum growing up was a bit bumpy.You mentioned that you noticed that your mother has been alone for a while. How do you think that has affected your relationship with your mother and in your own life and relationships?
I don’t think [it has] affected my relationship with my mother. The generation of African my mother came from is what I call the “survival.” It was very hard and strict, and it was all about getting money to put food on the table type thing. Even if I had my Dad around, I don’t think my Mum’s personality would have changed too much. Nigerian parents, or even Africans, don’t really show emotion like that. It’s all about “Are you top of your class?” or “Have you got a job yet?” And like I said, I get it because that’s the generation they came from.
The second part of [this] question I’ve actually thought about recently. Maybe subconsciously it has affected me because I never had that “first-line contact” of what a relationship is. All the stuff I “learnt” was from movies, and it’s definitely not like that in the real world. Maybe it would have helped if I got to see what a relationship looks like first-hand, and I might have been able to manoeuvre better within mine.
I understand that your mum was quite young when she had you, how do you think her youth played a role in your upbringing?
Like I was saying [previously], it’s the “survival.” My Mum grew up in Nigeria, which is a lot different from the UK. Then to come to the UK with the level of racism back then, a new country, a new language, it’s hard. Then to have me at a young age, whilst studying at university, and being divorced, it’s a lot! But the generation she came from you have to find a way to provide, and that’s what she did. Maybe because of her past tribulations accompanied by the survival mentality she thought: “This is the way to show love.” And the same way people learn better differently also applies to love.
Okay, so I understand that you’re Nigerian, and Pakistan, India and Bangladesh have our own ‘who’s better?’ beefs. So, tell me, how much better is Nigeria from Ghana and how?
To be honest, it’s friendly banter between the two countries, even down to the whole “Who’s jollof rice is better?” It’s Nigeria by the way. I know nothing about the country of Ghana to critique it, and I haven’t had a pleasant experience when I’ve gone to Nigeria. But, to be honest, Ghanaian people are generally much nicer people than Nigerians, in my own experience.
Have you visited Nigeria recently or are you planning to?
I haven’t been in 8 or 9 years, and I have no plans of visiting. Although, my Mum might force me to go next year because my uncle is getting married apparently. There was a time I used to go every year and stay in the village [in] my mum’s house growing up, and it was f****** terrible – pardon my French. Let me tell you my average day when I was in Nigeria. My Mum would go out in the morning and do whatever and come back at around 8pm. During that time, there would be no electricity since the generator only came on when my Mum was home, and there’s absolutely no electricity in the village and even in the city it goes on/off randomly. So, I had to stay in a boiling house with absolutely nothing to do until she came back.
Of course, I’ve been out to the city and explored. But the city my Mum grew up in Nigeria is terrible. There’s this one mall and that’s it! I’m very sorry that I have a bad outlook on Nigeria, but I haven’t had a pleasant experience when I’ve ever gone. Maybe it’s just the city I’m in because when my friends go, they look like they’re enjoying themselves.
Graduating, in this economy, how did it impact your job search? What are some of the struggles that you had to experience? Tell me about your toughest interview!
I did Biochemistry in University looking for jobs in marketing – yeah, I know -, so it’s even more of a struggle than it already is. First of all, that degree doesn’t mean a damn thing, it’s practically worthless. I feel my main struggles are getting an interview in the first place or having your time wasted – a promise of [an] interview or job and hearing nothing back after.
There was this one time the director of a company wanted to have an “informal chat” with me. He was grilling me worse than at the actual interview which I wasn’t prepared for. The main problem is that I always get that email back along the lines of “it was a really hard decision, but the other person just had that little bit more…” which is s*** because I can’t be any more [than] myself.
What do you wish you knew about graduating from university and studying? And what advice would you give to job-seekers?
I shouldn’t have gone to university in the first place. I never knew what I wanted to do initially, and I was more “forced” to go down the science route. But if you’re not looking to become a Doctor, Lawyer, Engineer, work with children, etc, then you don’t need to go to university. People are [paying] £9000 a year to study art, like, really? And this is not me s******* on Art students, but it’s, like, you can do that at home for free. Why are you paying £9000 a year for it?
I’m probably the wrong person to ask [for advice], but:
- Try and get as much experience as possible within the field you want to work e.g. volunteering.
- Always put a cover letter, it makes you stand out more.
- Only put bullet points of your key achievements in your work experience section. If you were a cashier employers know what you were doing.
- Mirror your CV to the job description.
And that’s the end of part one, more to come soon!
Are you a diverse blogger who has a story to share? If so, my blog is now open for guest post interviews! Topics will be expanding to mental health, life experiences, culture, community, employment, education, environmental issues, and much more. Please contact me if you would like to feature as a guest on my blog.
Connect with me: