*Beware, this post is goofy and full of spoilers*
After reading Anne Frank’s Diary of a Young Girl, it was only right that I dive into a series that will help me heal and recover. Thank you SO MUCH, Volare, for mentioning and recommending the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series by Jeff Kinney because it’s brought in a lot of light and laughter in these last few intense and dark couple of weeks. It’s just what I needed. If your mind needs a holiday, then this is the right series for you. Consider it a mind-cation. And, I guess, consider me a dad already after that.
As I said in the headline, this post will highlight the funny moments from the books, so this post is not for you if you’re looking to read this series and want to avoid spoilers. After reading the first book in the series, I realised that I wanted to write a post on the series and only after the first one did I use little bits of paper to bookmark the funny parts which is why the first book will seem pretty bare on here.
Diary of a Wimpy Kid is an illustrated series which follows the adventures, misadventures and struggles of middle-schooler Greg Heffley. The illustrations add bonus humour to the already hilarious text.
- Greg decides to listen to Rodrick’s music using the stereo in the living room and uses headphones so that Rodrick will not know. Unfortunately, he forgets to plug in the headphones in the process and the music is played at the highest volume and the music, I’m guessing, is quite profane. He obviously gets caught.
- Greg’s father water-bombing the kids on Halloween. Isn’t he just a kid at heart?
- Greg’s dad submitting photos of Rodrick as a freshman for Rodrick’s sophomore year(s) school photos. The picture is HILARIOUS.
- Greg plays a “you’re invisible” prank on Chirag Gupta and gets called in by the principal to apologise. Only, the principal got the wrong kid, so Greg has to apologise to some random student who has no idea what Greg and the principle are talking about.
- Even boys do not like copycats. Greg becomes annoyed at Rowley copying everything Greg does so Greg decides to experiment to see how far this can go. Greg rolls up one of his trouser legs and ties a bandanna around his ankle and goes to school. Rowley does the same the next day. Sadly, a neighbour brands them as “thugs sporting gang colours.”
- Greg decides to be completely honest, so when his mum’s friend calls asking for his mum and his mum tells Greg to tell her friend that she’s not home, Greg makes his mum stand outside the house, so he can honestly say that his mother “is not inside the house right now.” By the way, how many of us have had our mothers tell us to say this?! For real, mothers can be passive aggressive sometimes!
- Not funny but genius: Rowley buys a diary which can only be opened by a key and Greg wants to read it without Rowley knowing. So, what does he do? Greg buys the same diary knowing that the key provided can open Rowley’s diary. Horrible thing to do, but Greg’s a creative problem-solver. Props to him.
- The students have to write to their pen-pals through letters instead of emails which costs them money in stamps. “Dear Jacques – how old are you?” “Dear Albert, 12.” “Oh.” Oh, the stupidity!
- Greg’s Gramma isn’t the biggest fan of Greg. She hoards drawings from and pictures of Greg’s four-year-old brother, Manny, but the only thing she has from Greg is the note he wrote her when he was six when she refused to give him ice cream before dinner. The note says, “I hate you Gramma.” The note is hung in the house. This is the DEFINITION of petty. Damn, Gamma, just chill.
- When Greg runs to escape Rodrick’s clutches, he accidentally hides in the cubicle of the ladies’ room mistaking it for the men’s room. When he is eventually discovered and taken by security, he is branded as a peeping Tom.
Side notes: I didn’t understand the ending of this one considering how much Greg has complained about Rodrick throughout the book and suddenly he wants to help him out? Greg and his father are quite similar except that they have a few different interests, where Greg likes video gaming, his father enjoys Civil War re-enactments. Greg’s mother is SO annoying and devoid of any impersonal logic. I know she’s well-meaning but isn’t it obvious that a tinfoil with toothpicks is a safety hazard??? Even if it’s a gift from Manny to Greg.
- ALEX ARUDA. Oh my God, this kid is a genius. The students in Greg’s class are stuck inside for recess because someone stole the dictionary and refused to give it back. The kids go to Alex Aruda to help out and solve the crime because he reads he a lot of Sherlock Sammy books. Alex only agrees to help if they pay him 5 bucks. Once they pay him, Alex closes his book and shows them the cover. GEE, I WONDER WHAT BOOK IT WAS? Easiest 5 bucks he ever made.
- Greg’s Valentine’s Day card for Natasha who he “kind of” likes (remember that when you read this) which went like this: “Beloved Natasha, for you, a fire blazes in my heart, so strong that the embers alone could bring a thousand hot tubs to boil, so intense that it causes snowmen everywhere to despair, let the bonfire of my love wrap you in its warmth, only your kiss could quench the flames that so consume me, to you I pledge my love, my desire, my life.” DAMN, SON.
- Rowley’s Valentine’s Day card to Greg which has a piece of construction paper with candy taped to it. ROWLEY, YOU’RE A SWEETHEART.
- Because Greg and Rowley are banned from exchanging profanity, they come up with their insults. Greg gets so used to it he calls someone at school: “Raspberry plastic tickle bear!” This will become an Eid clapback one day, I can feel it.
- Dirty underwear falls out of one of Greg’s trouser legs. I don’t care, I live for this kind of gross humour! Greg ignores it and pretends that it’s not his underwear. However, his name is on the underwear and the school tannoy system announces this and asks the owner to retrieve his underwear. *face-palm.*
- The shirt from Greg’s uncle’s wedding which says, “Gary and Linda, Everlasting Love” with a picture of the newlyweds kissing. Sadly, it does say it was his “first wedding.” So much for the “everlasting love.”
- Greg pranks Rowley by convincing him in the bathroom at the cinema that the guy at the urinal is a professional athlete. And Rowley goes up to him and asks for an autograph… while he’s still doing his business. Zoo-wee mama.
- Greg’s Gramma wasn’t answering her phone and so Greg’s mama got worried. Turns out one of the tabloids (Gramma is obsessed with tabloids) informed readers that “cordless telephones erase the memory of the elderly” which is why she wasn’t picking up the phone. Can I get an “OH, DEAR LORD” from everyone who’s had this happened to them because our parents and grandparents are quick to believe anything? Including those chain mails that tell you that you will die if you do not forward a message to a 100 people. Also, who has over 100 friends after their 20’s? Who are these people?
- Greg loving the beauty salon. Honestly, this is my favourite part so far from the entire series. Greg loves to check his horoscope, find out the latest tea, he is all about the goss! “…And then Marlene says to Vanessa: “If you’re gonna get up in my face, you’d better be ready to back it up!” I need a salon like this in my area where the staff know everyone who lives here, AYAYAYAYAY! He gets hooked to soap operas after being introduced to them and shouts, “Girlfriend, you can do so much better than him!” By the way, I borrowed the series from my cousin brother and he loves watching Star Plus (Indian soap operas) and I’m so glad to see that boys enjoy it too.
- Greg and Rowley ordered so many fruit smoothies at the country clubhouse using Mr Jefferson’s (Rowley’s father) tab. The total bill amounted to £83. This reminded me of the time when I voted so many times for One Direction on X Factor on my mum’s phone. The total bill was £77. And the time the very same cousin brother bought Temple Run wallpaper, I repeat Temple Run wallpaper, on my phone. It was only £2 but still… I was a student! And student money is like Monopoly money.
- Greg recalling pre-school when during tidying up sessions, he sang along and provided moral support but did not do any tidying up whatsoever. The adult equivalent is Niall cheering on the boys working out while he sits down and enjoys his cereal on Love Island.
- He prays and pleads God to allow him to pay off the £83 fruit smoothie bill and it’s not, er, the best… “Dear Lord, please let Mr Jefferson get hit on the head so he forgets about the money that I owe him. And please let me get past the third level of Twisted Wizard without having to use any of my bonus health packs. Amen, and thank you in advance.” Oh, dear… at least our Anne of Green Gables just asked God to make her pretty.
- Greg isn’t the biggest fan of Fregley so when Fregley comes over, knocking on the Heffley’s front door, Greg decides to call 911 until his mother stops him.
- Yes, Rowley is a cutie patootie but his parents are so damn weird. Whilst playing charades, Rowley impersonates a dog and what do his parents say? “A cute adorable boy?” Jeez. Just play the game for God’s sake. Unsurprisingly, Greg sends an email to his mum from Mr Jefferson’s computer with the subject line “SOS” asking his mum to “GET ME OUT OF HERE THESE PEOPLE ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY.” Unfortunately, he forgot to log out of Mr Jefferson’s email so Rowley’s parents saw the email he sent. That specific horror aside, Greg gets to go on the Cranium Shaker which is a ride where you’re placed in a cage and it flips you upside down many times to the point where your face is six inches from the ground. Greg was so excited and then quickly horrified. But I’m in love and we need to petition to see this ride at Thorpe Park. So beautiful.
Side note: Dog Days is my favourite from the series so far. I was laughing throughout, it served the heartiest laughs. A very well-deserved 5 sparkling stars. Also, by book four, I’ve noticed how much Rowley has grown. Book one Rowley would not stand up to Greg and he matures and begins to stand up for himself. Go, Rowley!
I’m loving this series and I’m dreading the time when I will be finished with the series. I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to read something that just allows you to laugh the pressure off. I’ve seen plenty of people online bashing the series and how Greg is a terrible role model. Jeff Kinney himself was surprised that this book was being picked up by children as the series was intended for adults. But despite all that, I disagree. Sure, Greg isn’t the most righteous but he’s definitely not a sociopath either as some have called him. He’s a regular teen who just happened to voice his thoughts in a diary which plenty of us had in our youth anyway and, to be frank, still do. The holier-than-thou mindset against this book is laughable. This book is for giggles and fun, stop taking it otherwise.
Have you read the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series? If so, how much do you love or hate it?
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