“She’s not as innocent as she looks,” is the first thing I hear when I do something wrong.
I have a small face. My face is as wide as it is long, I have a large forehead with high eyebrows, full cheeks, a small chin and my features are relatively small. Voila! We have some essential ingredients required for a baby face. To top it off, I’m fairly small in stature. I really don’t mind how I look. I have my good days and my bad days but, for the most part, I don’t have an issue with it. I do, however, have a problem with people judging me based on how I look as opposed to judging me based on my character and deeds. When things go topsy-turvy, you must judge my person and judge what I have done wrong. Do not judge me for my appearance because you know very well, by the laws of logic, that my physical appearance has nothing to do with this.
I recall my experience in college (British High School). The rumour mill was churning gossip left, right and centre, sparing almost none. The figurehead for this endless operation was a student who collected and distributed gossip like a child collecting Pokemon cards. It was a hobby and an obsession. When my turn came, and nasty things were said about me, what was the first thing that people said about me?
“She’s not as innocent as she looks.”
I did not exit the womb with the intention to look like a 12-year-old beyond the age of 12. I did not choose how I was going to look. God chose that for me. What did my appearance have to do with anything you were saying about me? Why do people choose to attack people on their physical appearances anyway? Physical appearances do not harm anyone. There are, of course, obvious exceptions when it comes to this such as the woman in the news recently who intended to visit a mosque without following the recommended attire. That was an intentional affront. An otherwise physical appearance does not intend to harm.
Coming across “sweet and innocent” due to your words is another insult that can be thrown your way. Let me make this clear, the kind of people who would do this are narcissists and psychopaths and that is a very serious insult to level at someone. Many of us, when we speak to people, have not prepared beforehand to make sure that we come across a certain way. Who does this? Why would we do this? Again, it’s a highly illogical thing to do. If you are at odds with someone, stick to the facts, stick to what you know unless you do already know that person well enough to make this assumption or there is circumstantial evidence.
I am not intending to come across as sweet, innocent and modest… I am trying to be sweet and modest because it is the kind and right thing to do. I do intend to be kind to people and I do intend to be humble. I do not believe pride is a very great thing to have, it’s a destructive and unhealthy trait. So, yes, I try to be humble. I definitely do not feel the need to come across in a good way and the people in my life who know me well know that I am not inhibited. I have a strong urge to be myself and if that means that I come across as sweet and innocent then let me ask you to consider a person’s actual intentions. If you tend to jump to conclusions based on how someone looks, re-evaluate your decision-making processes and judgement of character.
Judge people based on their character and deeds. Do understand that people make mistakes. Both you and me. It’s 2018… why are we still judging people based on how they look?
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